I love to read and use Audible often, since I am in the car a bit. I like all types of literature from non-fiction, sci-fi, horror. Recently I have tried to branch out and decided to give romance a try.

Though the characters and their situations are all different, the theme is similar. The guy is bad news, but only tender and good when around only this one woman. His past is dark, he has done atrocious things, but she is the one who can change him.

Maybe I am just not a romantic. I mean my favorite movie is Aliens, The Thing….. you get the idea. Sci-Fi, horror, action. I’d like to think I am romantic in real life, I am always trying to surprise my partner, plan trips, plan date nights. But I cannot get on board with the plots of these stories. Someone once said, if someone tells you they are a bad person, do not think you can change them or that they are not what they say. Because they probably are.

I know these are fictional, romance stories but I also think this packaged bad boy, one woman can change him idealism is toxic. I think it creates a reality mimics fiction that is dangerous for emotions, relationships. Maybe I am rambling about this, but I actually removed the books I started from my phone because I could not get into them. I found myself mad at the main character, telling her to run as fast as she can. Of course if that happened then there would be no story. Somehow this mafia, convict, dug overlord, serial cheater now reformed because of this one woman is a thing, or there would not be book after book using the same plot.

Maybe I am not a romantic, but I am wise way beyond my years. People do not change, if you enjoy these tales, then leave them at that and do not try to reform the bad boy you meet in real life. There are always exceptions to anything. but more often than not, if they are bad, cruel, mean then they are those things. And the “I can love him/them enough to make them better” is toxic AF. I said it.

Not to merge too far from this blog, but consider not sleeping on the good guys, or people. The ones who do the right thing, actually do not run from love or commitment, kind, considerate, empathetic. None of those traits make a man less manly, that is a whole different toxic belief for another time. I was with the “bad boy” for 15 years of my life. He had so many intimacy, emotional connection, lying, troubled issues that I was one of those “If I can just love him enough, it will make it all better.”

No. That is not what happened. I ended up for most of those 15 years starved and thinking the few crumbs I was given, glimpses into what might have been was enough. Until one day, I was starving for intimacy, connection and more. Maybe this is why these stories bother me on this level. Because I know first hand. You hear their horrible past history, the pain, the anguish and you make excuse after excuse as to why they are the way they are. And what they are offering is enough. But it is not. You give, and then you are empty.

So my search for a new book is starting. I just cannot with these romance novels.